Saturday, May 16, 2015

Do you talk to your spouse?

It breaks my heart to meet so many married couples who are living together as strangers. They don't really know each other anymore because they don't talk. They don't want to be like the scrappy couple that no one invites out anymore. They do not want to risk the pain of rejection or humiliation that could be lurking right around the corner from a serious conversation about marital problems. So silence prevails.

The sex starved husband spends more time at work and hanging out with the boys as a distraction. The unloved wife volunteers to chaufeur the soccer team, chaperone every field trip and completely consume herself with the only thing she thinks she's kind of good at - parenting. They become accustomed to being alone. Lonliness becomes a constant companion. They don't like it but there's nothing that can be done. Right?

Divorce, affairs and resigning to a lifetime of misery seem reasonable, now. Long gone are the vows of forever made by fools in love. He resents giving up his freedom. After all, she surely doesn't love him anymore. She resents giving up her dreams. After all, he surely doesn't love her anymore. Soon they will part. 

 This is foolishness. Relationships cannot exist without communication. Couples know that the number one problem in marriages is lack of communication. It's ok if you don't know exactly what to say. Go to God in prayer and he will give you what to say. God freely gives wisdom to those who ask. There are no winners in a marriage ruled by selfishness and fear. Whatever the issue, talk about it. You'll be glad you did.

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